The Grateful Green: A Daily Journal
Learning to kick butt with gastroparesis
I woke up this morning with a jolt, hearing my husband leave at 5:07am, I could feel the sickness trying to reveal itself. My saliva glands were flooding my mouth and I rolled over gently, not wanting to disturb my body.
I made a deliberate effort to talk to my belly. His name is Harry, yes, my belly has a name. If you had been through everything we’ve been through together, you’d name your belly also. So as I try to connect with Harry, I do my best to adopt a feeling of gratitude.
Now, it can be difficult to find gratitude when you feel like you’re going to blow chunks, but I know any good change can always be kicked off by gratitude. So I start telling Harry how wonderful he his. I tell him how much I love him, and how sorry I am for eating too much frozen yogurt last night.
Frozen yogurt is something new I’ve been able to add to my diet. But, like all new things…everything must be consumed in moderation. As soon as I start going overboard, Harry will suffer and start to feel sick again. Last night, I may have gone a bit too far.
So, I lay there forgiving myself. For eating too much and for putting Harry in this position of having to feel sick this morning; I take responsibility and love myself.
Lying there in the darkness of my bedroom, I ask Harry to relax and I try to put myself in a happier state of mind. I let my mind drift to some blog posts I want to write this week, I think of some of my friends who have gastroparesis and I wish them well as they wake up this morning and do their best to kick off another day. I picture those I love enjoying a perfect fall morning and I can sense my energy starting to pick up.
The saliva seems to be dissipating. YESS!
I gingerly make my way from bed and head to the bathroom to rinse my mouth with Listerine. I know it sounds crazy, but when I wake up with the awful sickness, Listerine helps me chase it away, especially the last of the nausea. I’m sure it’s just a mental “state change” when the burn hits my mouth…it doesn’t really matter, when you have gastroparesis, you do whatever works for you.
As I begin my morning, I allow gratitude to fill my body. Just a few months ago I couldn’t even function in the morning. Getting up and making my boy’s lunches was one of the hardest things I would do during the day – my body rejected movement in the morning. I would vomit, have the sweats, the “runs”, the shakes, the nausea was debilitating – and this was all while I was trying to crank out a couple awesome lunches for my kids.
I would be drenched in sweat by the time I got them off to school.
Today is different. Today is better. I do a great deal now that I didn’t have to do before, but it’s all worth it. I’m getting my life back. (Hand me my sword, I have dragons to slay!)
I’m now off to make a protein shake and take on the day with gusto!!
Remember, it’s not what you do next week that can change your life as much as what you do in the next hour.